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Somebody call me a Wha-mbulance!

June 9, 2010

Eyeteaguy is having a rough go of it lately. And I have always said that no one like a whiner.  But sometimes it helps to get it off your chest. So here goes.

I run an IT department by myself.  Big deal right?  But size matters.

Locally I have 45 users, 8 servers, 16 printers and all the networking and infrastructure to go with it.  This has been relatively stable for the last 8 years.

However, I have 6, soon to be 7 remote locations that I take care of.  Some are small, 3 users and a printer. Some are quite large 40 users and multiple servers.  This largest location is being tacked on to my system next month.

This may be a bit much as they are in the Pacific time zone and some users work until 6 PM their time which is 9 PM my time. Since our plants start at 6 AM my time that can make for a long day if things don’t go smoothly.

I have had my budget cut every year I have been here.  8 years of cuts yet we have grown 4 times in size. How do I do it?  I recycle equipment, I buy used, I look for and find free software.  It can be done, if you have the time.  And that is what I don’t have any more.

And you know what else I don’t have anymore? Energy, desire, drive.  And that is because there is no end in sight, just more of the same and that is demoralizing.

I quit drinking, modified my diet, changed the way I live so I can be more efficient at work.  But I am running out of ways to get more out of me.

I do add stress to my life by refusing to work at the office long hours.  I drop my kids off and pick them up so my at-work day is slightly shorter than it used to be.  I like my kids, I like hanging out with them.  When they go to bed I go back to work (virtually) and put in another few hours.

But it’s not enough and I am suffering mentally.  I am unable to relax or enjoy my life anymore.  So what is the point?

Mrs. Eyeteaguy works the night shift 2 weeks out of 4 so I am the mom and the dad half the time.  And my house gets messy and I get stressed.  No one’s fault, that’s just life right?

Right? Well it gets worse.  (And I’m about to piss some people off here).  I feel like I’m alone.  My wife’s job take a lot out of her so she is not really “home” anymore.  Our parents do not help or contribute.  Other friends get nights off, vacations when their parents step in, step up, chip in.  And as for aunt’s and uncles?  right…..

So I am slowly spiralling in.  I can feel myself changing.  I have become the person I swore I would not become.

So excuse the shit out of me if I have a shitty attitude.  You have no idea how it feels to have 148 users, 134 computers and 13 servers depending on you.  Any one can fail at any time and I’m the guy who has to drop everything to fix it. 24/7/365 baby.  This year was the only year in 8 years that I have not been called on Christmas.  I live in fear of my cell phone going off.  My heart is pounding all the time.  I have a task list that would take a team 3 months to clear without having anything added to it.

No help, no support, no shoulder to cry on, just a blog where I get to vent.

So call me a fucking wha-mbulance to take me to the hospity-al.

Eyeteaguy

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7 comments

  1. Suck it up. Life is a bitch.

    Gracious


  2. I hear you.

    (Hey, Gracious – have the guts to leave an email address sometime, okay?)


  3. Hey, you can vent to me any time. Sooner or later, we all get our Annus Horriblus. Sometimes more than once. It just happens to be your turn right now.

    As for Gracious…what Brett just said. That’s all the response they’er worth.


  4. And if you go to your bosses and tell them this isn’t working for you anymore and you need some additional support? What will they do? It doesn’t sound like you’re easily replaced at this point so you’d think you have some bargaining power? You might also have the same talk with your wife.


  5. Hmm.. Well, the first post I read in your blog was your Ode to Friar (I find it ironic he thanks you in his comments for 1-2 new readers because his response to your Ode probably netted you at least one new reader in the form of me, though I don’t comment much so we’ll call it 1/3 of a new blog-follower or something). But this is what came up when I clicked your very awesome header image.

    I can relate, minus the kids. I don’t manage servers, I manage databases. We have… with a pause to think it out… Well, two major clients, one using three databases for our various product lines and the other only on one at the moment but phasing into their second, each with multiple locations, each with multiple employees on the systems. I don’t know the exact count. I know one product line for our client on three of our databases has 63 users (because I’m staring at the list of passwords we maintain).

    At any rate, let me shorten all that because explaining how and why I can relate would be a blog entry all it’s own. So here’s what the ending point was coming out to:

    Hello Eyeteaguy, it’s nice to meet you beyond the e-buse you give Friar on his blog (which was also fun to read). From this IT-gal to you, I know it sucks and the work is hard. I sympathize and offer another outlet should you ever with to rant. I’ll keep reading in the meantime, and maybe leave a comment now and again.


  6. Hi Eyeteaguy,

    I only know you via Friar’s Blog. For some unknown reason I decided to check your Blog tonight. What an eye-opener when I read your post.

    You’re a caring hard-working man of substance. I truly feel for your situation. You deserve to vent but you also deserve to enjoy family, friends, outside intersts, and the world around you.

    You’re running on a treadmill at full speed. I hate to tell you but eventually something will give. I know. I’ve been there, done that.

    I wish I had a solution to your truly hectic life. If it’s of any help to you, be it known that some of us care.


  7. @Gracious,

    Here’s one to add to your negative repertoire.

    “Life sucks and then you die.”

    Personally, I’m embrace each day to the fullest. I learned a long time ago “Nothing in Life is a Given”.



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