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All walk and no talk

March 25, 2010

127 views and one comment.  Welcome to my world.

Well as it turns out your intrepid Eyeteaguy had strep throat.  Very nasty, my voice only returned last night.  Turns out you can die from it and it sure felt like it.  Now how does a young healthy IT Guy get such a severe case?  “Stress and over work can suppress the immune system” says my doctor.  No kidding.

But the biggest joke was when my president calls me AT HOME and asks my wife to put me on the phone.  She says he can’t because he can’t talk, and he is in bed, and I think he is dying.  So he demands she wake me up and tell me to remotely access his machine so I can fix his email.  She says she will not and but will ask me when I emerge.  This of course wakes me up.  I ask for my iPhone and I feebly tap out an email to my boss and my IT contractor.  Neither gets back to me so I go back to sleep.  An hour later I wake up and check email again and El President has fixed the problem.  Turn out his screen was fuzzy because he had set the resolution on his screen too low.

So I am back in the saddle and now wondering what all this means.  I woke on Tuesday morning at 2 AM barely able to breathe my throat was so swollen.  I knew that if I panicked I would make things worse so I just used every mind trick I knew to slow my heart rate and slow my breathing.  I also raised myself up a bit so that gravity would help drain the fluid.  It worked and I went back to sleep.  But it got me thinking, if I had been in real trouble, I could not speak or yell.  I could pound on the wall but who would hear me?  My wife works nights and my five-year old sleeps like the dead.  I was literally seconds from death.  Odd feeling.

So what does this all mean?  Well I have nearly died before so this was not a life changing experience.  I did not wake up and want to hug my family.  I do that every morning, even if I have to force them.  I did not make me appreciate them more.  I already appreciate them as much as is possible.  What it taught me is that you may not have 20, 30, 40 years left.  You may have only today.  And I am not doing what I want to do and I am not happy all the time.  What I am doing is the best I can with what I have while still trying.  Is that good enough?  For me?  Right now?  Yes, it’s a rut, but its my rut and I like it.

A year from now I will be someplace else because I am always open to the possibilities, I will take the risks when I see them but I also know when to wait and have patience.  You will never know when your chance is but you have to be ready for it.  Chances have come my way so often I feel blessed and I have caught every single one of them.  I don’t think I let one slip by.  So I am all walk baby, because my talk has been stripped from me by the Strep.

Eyeteaguy

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3 comments

  1. A potential opportunity is coming.

    Stay tuned, I will give you an update.


  2. It’s easy to forget, when things are going well, how often we take our health for granted.

    If there’s any possible good that can come out of a serious medical problem, is that it puts thing in perspective.

    I’m not just speaking out of the corner of my mouth. I haven’t had strep, but I’ve had similar situations when I could barely move or function.

    Makes you realize, if you don’t’ have your health, you don’t have ANYTHING.


  3. Oooo I’m all excited about your potential opportunity. Brett is like a psychic or a fortune cookie or something. What’s in my future, Brett?



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